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Dear Egyptian Castle

Dear Egyptian Castle,
1- un-understanding Egyptian Arabic husband with all meaning of this word.

2- staying alone no relative no family very few friends because that is my husband's personality for the past  five years and half.

At the beginning of my marriage,  I tried hard to let him live simple easy lovely life.  I tried to help him but with time I became depressed, frustrated and I can't handle it any more like before. Maybe because I am alone as I told you my family and his family are far living in Egypt.

My marriage was very quickly in one week like many of men do when they want to get married, taking vacation for a few days or a week to marry a woman from his own land.

I know I was wrong because I didn't give myself enough time to know him but I depended on knowing  his parents and his sister. But I didn't know him in person because he was living abroad like I mentioned before .

After I decided to asking divorce because this is impossible life like I am in jail.  I have been thinking about children maybe the children will change him because he is a good man and kind, but he likes to live alone, very quit,  doesn't want to buy anything, he likes  to stay at home all the time and the home doesn't have any thing good " old furniture very old TV ...etc". So anyway I tried for four years with doctors but I can't be pregnant.  At the beginning the doctors told us that my husband is the reason,  then we go to for make it not normal way like any couple .This cost  us a lot of money with no result. Finally the doctors told us that because my body has changed now by the age of 38.and also he said if you tried this way from the beginning,  there would have been more chances than now. SORRY I KNOW THIS WAS A BIG LETTER TO YOU BUT I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. NOW MY PROBLEM IS

38 years old - no hope to have a child to become my family, my friend ,my happiness and amusement in the foreign country. should I divorce and go back to my family I feel very very sad.

THANK YOU

Mona

Dear Mona, 
Your story has touched us all, especially being alone with no family or friends close by to confine to and  ease your pain.  After 5 1/2 years, we can't say that you did not give it your best shot and tried to make it work.  Seeking children in an incompatible marriage has never been the right solution, but a drag and a cause to stay in a failing marriage for the sake of the children.  It is too late now to blame yourself for not knowing him well before marriage and it's time to act.  At this stage, you have to give your husband an ultimatum, either he participates in the marriage and tries harder to bring some happiness into your life by simple loving gestures and showing that he cares, or ask him for divorce.  If he is truly a good and kind man as you've mentioned, you will see a change based on a fear of loosing you.  If he does not change, then divorce is certainly justified.  Living abroad, away from family and friends is not made for anyone, however it can be tolerated,  if you are sharing your life with a loving and caring partner.  If you do not find that loving and caring person in your husband then you are better off without him.  You are only 38 years old and still have a long life ahead of you. Make the most out of it, set up your priorities and focus on your future rather than your past.  A change will not be easy and you need to be strong to go through it.  If this marriage cannot be saved, then getting a divorce and going back to your family in Egypt is the ideal solution in your case.  This is based on our assessment that it will be very hard to make it on your own in the USA.  We wish you all the best.
Our honest opinion
The Egyptian Castle

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