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Dear Egyptian Castle

Dear Egyptian Castle,

I'm an Egyptian living in the US for almost 15 years, I was married (arranged marriage) to an Egyptian man who turned my life to hell, abuse...mean all kind of things that you can imagine and because of our background that doesn't allow divorce easy I tried hard for about 7 years, I just couldn't take it anymore so I tried also hard until I got a divorce. now I have all my kids with me # 3 kids even the little boy doesn't know his father. I work and support my Kids and even though I look as a strong women who is working hard and doing my best to raise my Kids I feel guilty for my bad choice I feel also very lonely I always think that I can not keep going, always sad any little thing makes me cry. Life is so hard on me to handle always sad and like to be alone, I tried to make some friends but every time it ends up hurting my feelings in a way or another, like friends taking advantage of me using me for things to do for them and then ignore me, I feel like I trust people so fast I care about people also so fast and then I'm the one that gets hurt at the end, I really don't know why? is it me being wrong in judging people or that human has changed and I never noticed, I'm sorry may be it seems like I have no problems, but I do recently I heard that people makes friends of the internet, I was so scared to talk to someone over the net but I did, the last few months, I knew an Egyptian man from one of the chatting programs He seems polite nice and we starting talking over the phone he used to call and/or meet over the net every night, I told him everything from day one (about me and the Kids) all I wanted at the time is just to have a friend who I can talk to, anyway he lives in another state and it happens that I had a business trip for the company,  I work for in the same state that he lives in, I met him there he was very nice to me had a good time having dinner or coffee together and I came back home. In the same night he asked me to marry him I was a little surprised because of my situation being a mom for three kids and I asked him and he said that's not a problem and we started  talking and he even asked me to tell my brother who lives in the same state I live in, I did, I was happy I started to think about him more and I thought may be that was my reward from Allah knowing that I had such a hard life and I'm a very lonely person, I started to deal with him based on the fact that he asked me for marriage and all of the sudden he changed, stopped calling , stopped being on the net in the times we arranged to meet, I called a few times felt like he had changed all the way, I think he also starting to lie saying that he is busy or sick, unlike before when he used to ask me to wake him up because he likes talking to me and if I missed one night without talking to him, he would send me messages asking "where are you?"

I don't know what happened .. why people are that way? why would they try to make some one loves them and when we do they turn around? why people are not straight saying what they mean to begin with? I don't understand what is the joy of hurting somebody's feelings? now I don't know would you advice me to call him try to get a hold of him and ask him why is he doing that? or what's going on? or even ask him did you back off or what? or should I just ignore him even thought that is very hard and I feel hurt so bad , I feel like I'm shutting down I don't want to trust anybody.

I really appreciate what you're doing and forgive me for taking so much of your time.

also I would appreciate your reply even via my Email.

Thank you so much


Dear Nada, 

Why are people that way?? Why is the world like that??  If anyone knew the answer and was able to change it, the World would have been a better place and it would be called heaven not earth.  The reality here is that people are different, there are the good, the bad and the ugly.  unfortunately it seems that you've had a larger share of meeting more of the bad and the ugly rather than the good. Don't blame yourself and feel guilty about anything.  You didn't do anything wrong, just the time hasn't come yet for you to meet the right person who can make you happy.

As to contacting that person, we certainly wouldn't advise you to do that unless you want to hurt yourself more.  He said it in many indirect ways that he has changed his mind about marriage.  Why did he back off ?? Why is he doing this??  Does it really matter to know the answers .. would it make a difference???  we really don't think so ..just put it behind you and go on with your life .. he is obviously not worth it.  We realize it is easy said than done, but you can make it.  

Unfortunately, we couldn't find an Arabic song to send you, but here is one called "I will survive" .. click here to listen to it ..  turn the volume up high and say to yourself "I will survive" .. life is tough, but you certainly  can "survive"

We wish you all the best

Our honest opinion
The Egyptian Castle

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